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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24376075">Don't Leave Your Food Unattended Before Someone Poisons It For You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/leelhiette/pseuds/yatagarasu'>yatagarasu (leelhiette)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gintama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A bit of manga spoilers, Attempt at Humor, Drama, Gintoki is awkward, Gintoki-Centric, M/M, Misunderstandings, Other characters I tagged are mostly cameos, Post-Canon, Some pining, they're both dense idiots, vague plot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:02:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,805</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24376075</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/leelhiette/pseuds/yatagarasu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Where things more or less stayed the same. (Or other people are trying their hands at matchmaking.)</p><p>"So, how are things going for you and your little assassination unit? Killed anyone important lately?" Gintoki smiled a bit too wide to be sincere.</p><p>But he was trying, <i>right?</i></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki, Kagura &amp; Sakata Gintoki &amp; Shimura Shinpachi, Okita Sougo &amp; Sakata Gintoki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>342</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Don't Leave Your Food Unattended Before Someone Poisons It For You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gintoki was staring at the colorful lights illuminated through his window by his desk chair, wondering why the fireworks display were always going off at this time of the night or even later. Though, they didn't last more than a minute at best but it was still eye-catching. Turning back to his living room, he watched as Kagura approached and stood next to him, eyes straying towards the bright show outside as it finally died down.</p><p>It started out like this.</p><p>"Gin-chan, I'm going on a date." Kagura, bless her 16-year-old naivety, had announced that late night after watching their drama reruns.</p><p>In fact, Gintoki was in the middle of drinking his strawberry milk and ended up snorting it out through his nose in his shock. There was an odd sense of déjà vu from this scenario. He remembered a time two years ago when she'd gone home one afternoon and she'd announced that she had a boyfriend. Though, at least this time, it sounded like she hadn't jumped the gun and that baldy wasn't around to take off his head.</p><p>Wait. The <em>baldy</em>. Date. His daughter.</p><p>"Absolutely <em>not!</em>" He shrieked as he turned towards her in horror. "Do you want me to die?!" He demanded shrilly as he opened all the drawers in his desk, hoping to find a time machine that could help him travel back and kill the idiot who'd asked this glutton out.</p><p>"What are you talking about?" Kagura deadpanned at him, flipping her long hair over a shoulder. "It's just a date. I have higher standards before I call a guy my boyfriend, yes?" She then started counting off with her fingers. "First, he needs to be a resident of Earth, I can't have another alien taking me to another planet. Second, he needs to have a steady paying job that can pay for my meals, yes? Third, he should know how to cook, do laundry, clean Sadaharu's shit–"</p><p>He cut her off with a swift karate chop to the head.</p><p>"So, what you're basically looking for is a <em>slave</em>, not a damn boyfriend! At least learn the difference!" Gintoki yelled but before he could continue his tirade, he was promptly sent hurtling through the ceiling as she headbutted his chin.</p><p>"How would you know? Gin-chan isn't even dating anyone!" The damn brat scoffed at him in disdain. "I don't want to hear this from a cherry-boy old man like you! And having a crush on anyone doesn't count! It just shows that your love life is really just pathetic, yes?"</p><p>Swinging himself from the ceiling, he attempted to kick off her face as he landed. Kagura just ducked under his leg and let him crash on the sofa behind her. Ugh, Shinpachi was gonna nag at him again about the debris and how it was difficult to clean blood off of the furniture. He gritted his teeth as he glared at his opponent with wild eyes, hoping that he had learned to eviscerate people through his gaze during the two years that he'd been gone.</p><p>"That's way below the belt!" Those were <em>not</em> tears in his eyes. His eyesight just got bad while on the road. "Gin-san is still very much the fresh bachelor he's always been!" He reasoned at her unimpressed stare. "I'm single because I <em>chose</em> to be!" He insisted and he did not sound desperate, damn it.</p><p>Kagura regarded him for a minute.</p><p>She raised one finger and said, "How about we make a deal?" She cocked her head to the side and smirked at him. "My date's going to be in three weeks because we're supposed to go see a movie that's showing then. If you can find a date before me, an <em>actual</em> date that you wanted and not someone you asked for the sake of winning, then I'll ditch this guy and never go on any date until I turn eighteen."</p><p>Hey, that was easy! He could just go ask some–</p><p>"I said an actual date, yes?" Kagura repeated with a small smile that made him pause. "If you have any respect for me, you'll honor that deal, <em>yes</em>?" Her aura had turned dark and viscous, practically oozing out evil.</p><p>"And if I don't?" He raised his chin and looked down at her because while she'd grown taller, it wasn't <em>that</em> tall enough.</p><p>"Then I'll go on my date," She shrugged nonchalantly as if having to deal with her bald father was not her problem. <em>Think about Gin-san, damn it. </em>"Right after I crushed the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon between your legs since you won't need one once you prove that your love life is pitiful, yes?" She gave him this condescending look that she hadn't quite managed to perfect before as a brat but had obviously mastered right now.</p><p>Because he wanted to tell Umibouzu that he'd tried his best, there was only one answer.</p><p>"My love life's going to be absolutely better than any shoujo manga out there!" He swore to her impulsively. "Don't underestimate this protagonist here!" was what he said but–</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>"Who would date a guy with perm nearing his thirties?" He asked blankly as he laid his head on the counter the next evening, just now realizing the implications of what the deal really demanded. "I mean, I know a lot of people but I don't really want to date them. Sugar has always been the love of my life for as long as I can remember. And I heard that Ketsuno Ana is making plans to remarry her ex-husband." He lamented.</p><p>"Don't you have a person in mind that you want to date, Gin-san?" Shinpachi gave him a sympathetic smile which he totally didn't appreciate coming from him. "I mean, you can use this chance to finally ask them out." He suggested sensibly.</p><p>Even then, Shinpachi patted his shoulder with that same sympathy in his eyes despite his supportive words.</p><p>As if Gintoki had already lost.</p><p>"Oi, you're pissing me off." He stated bluntly as he lifted his head, eye twitching. "You're looking at Gin-san as if he's been already turned down. You're staring at me like I've been dumped already. What kind of half-ass support is that, huh?!" Gintoki demanded as he grabbed fistfuls of the other's keikogi.</p><p>"So, in other words, you don't have someone you want to ask," Otose interjected, blowing smoke into their faces and making them splutter.</p><p>He grimaced.</p><p>"Look, Gin-san is a very busy guy. He's always been loyal to Ketsuno Ana so he didn't have time to be dating," He tried to reason regardless of the skeptical gazes they were giving him. "Hell, I'm too busy feeding the glutton that lives upstairs and fighting bad guys. What do you expect? I've been doing fine on my own for years now and I don't see how getting together with someone will make it any better." He bit his tongue, realizing that he might let slip a few words he might not be able to take back.</p><p>"When you say things like that, it almost sounds like you never really dated anyone." The glasses-wearing teen pointed out.</p><p>"I-I went out with five women to the movies before–" Gintoki nervously brought up, avoiding looking at Otose in particular.</p><p>"That <strong><em>doesn't</em></strong> count!" Shinpachi roared in his face, glowering at him. "That was Zenzou-san teaching you a lesson about drinking more than your own weight! So, you mean to tell me that you've always been making fun of me about being a virgin but you had never even been on an honest-to-God date before?" The way his eyes had darkened didn't promise anything good for Gintoki's future.</p><p>"Well, you are a virgin," Gintoki deadpanned. "Getting it on at the red-light district is different from going out with someone. For one, you don't pay them, you actually have to ask permission. Two, it takes a few more dates before you can get excited on the bed–"</p><p>He was cut off when the teen slammed his face on the counter ruthlessly.</p><p>"You shameless moron!" Shinpachi shrieked at him. "I didn't need to know that, you pervert!"</p><p>Hey, that was rude! The last time he actually got any was way back in his teens. Back then, it had actually been a competition between him and the guys about scoring a night with the people that caught their eye while roughhousing in the red-light district. That was where he learned all his repertoire of dirty jokes. It was actually Sakamoto who'd gotten the idea. Loath as he was to admit, it had mostly been Takasugi who'd won before it was revealed that he hadn't really planned to sleep with them to begin with.</p><p>After the end of the war and losing Shouyo the first time, Gintoki hadn't really seen the appeal of sex again. He had just felt too jaded, the sting of loss still too sharp, to even consider delving into that kind of superficial intimacy. It just felt too shallow, even for him. After meeting Otose, the kids, and all the idiots that resided here in Edo, he hadn't felt the need to actually seek anyone out for any relationship, figuring that his bonds right now were what all he needed.</p><p>So, <em>fine</em>, it stung a bit that Kagura had to point out his lack of romantic rapports. But did he even <em>want</em> one? He didn't fucking know.</p><p>Still, a deal's a deal.</p><p>All of their heads snapped to the doors as a series of popping sounds reached them. Gintoki and Shinpachi stared at each other before dashing outside to see the commotion. Unlike the first time it happened, there were only a few people trying to see what the hubbub was about. They barely even paused in their routine while the two of them stared at the colorful display in the sky that had become a thing since last week.</p><p>"This is really getting old," Gintoki remarked with a yawn. "Haven't they gotten enough of that already?"</p><p>"I don't know if there's really anything to celebrate but I think it's nice," Shinpachi remarked beside him, face illuminated by the fireworks above.</p><p>A horrible, horrible idea suddenly occurred to him.</p><p>"Say, Shinpachi, how about setting up a blind date–"</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>Date One:</p><p>Of course, he should've expected that the first woman Shinpachi was going to ask for him was this person.</p><p>"So, Shin-chan told me that you're testing out the waters," Otae smiled serenely across from him, somehow managing to make her words sound like a threat. "And here I thought that you're finally setting a good example for him and Kagura-chan. But here you are, out on a date that you didn't even have the decency to prepare for." She stated bluntly with that smile still firmly fixed on her face.</p><p>Gintoki felt that familiar dread as he discreetly tried to straighten out the wrinkle in his yukata.</p><p>"Ah, yes, let me introduce myself," He persevered despite the nervous smile on his face. "I'm the boss of Yorozuya Gin-chan, favorite food is parfait, I dislike violence, and my dream is to one day find the Sugar Kingdom that has been–"</p><p>"<em>Otae-san!</em>" A familiar voice cried out. Of course, where this woman went, this man went. "What's the meaning of this?!" Kondo Isao sobbed as he crawled out from underneath their table.</p><p>"Excuse me," The brunette woman said politely as she stood up before stomping on the gorilla, intent to kill emanating from her in waves. Some things never changed.</p><p>Gintoki gulped.</p><p>"B-Bill please!" He called out hastily.</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>Date Two:</p><p>"What are you doing here?" Gintoki whispered incredulously as he eyed the short-haired woman across from him. "I mean, this isn't a wedding interview, you hear? Gin-san is just trying to date here!" He tried to reason because he knew this woman's family and he refused to be pulled into any scheme once again.</p><p>Not to mention, he had to find someone he actually wanted to date. Whatever.</p><p>"I know that!" Yagyuu Kyuubei whispered back just as urgently before straightening in her seat and clearing her throat, dressed in one of her formal kimonos. "In fact, Tae-chan was the one who recommended that I go here. Even if I cancelled my plans about marrying, the family still wanted me to attend the interviews to see if there would be any prospect so she felt that this would be a good practice for me to interact with men in this kind of setting. So, I'm here to learn." She declared solemnly.</p><p>
  <em>Oi, this isn't that kind of setting!</em>
</p><p>"S-So, ah," Gintoki fumbled, trying to regain his bearings. "Tell me something about yourself." He tried the polite approach.</p><p>"I'm the successor of the Yagyuu family, Yagyuu Kyuubei," She bowed her head formally which he awkwardly returned, feeling the eyes of some of the people around the café. "In order to protect this sword and the Yagyuu style, the fastest way would be to have children and pass on the techniques. So, if we're going to 'date', I have to ask if you're willing to live with me alongside my sword."</p><p>"Oi! I just told you that this isn't a marriage interview!" Gintoki pointed out dubiously. "You're skipping too many steps! And what do you mean <em>your sword</em>? That isn't something you just bring up on the first date!" He insisted frantically.</p><p>He might not be that knowledgeable about dates but he was completely sure that this wasn't it either.</p><p>"Ah, I meant a literal sword." Kyuubei added as if it was the real issue as she went to unsheathe said weapon.</p><p>"Wait, stop–"</p><p>Gintoki made the mistake of touching her hand.</p><p>At least, she was considerate enough to pay for the damages.</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>Date Three:</p><p>Gintoki didn't even bother with this one as he slammed his head on the table.</p><p>"That's rather rude of you," Katsura sniffed as he covered the lower half of his face with the sleeve of his kimono, make up and hair done. "Is that any way to treat a lady? No wonder you're out here and still single." He declared haughtily.</p><p>"What fucking lady?" He groaned.</p><p>It was doomed to fail if he wanted to kill his date, right?</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>Date Four:</p><p>Gintoki tried to keep his smile intact.</p><p>"Kyah! I'm on a date with Gin-san!" Sarutobi Ayame squealed as she cupped her cheeks with her hands, blushing furiously. "Is this what I think it is? Are you finally ready to marry me? Kyah, I'm so excited! I knew it! They did always say that absence makes the ***** go harder. Did your ***** miss me that much? Don't worry, Gin-san! I'm ready anytime you want to–" She was cut off as the empty parfait glass connected with her face, sending her glasses skidding on the floor.</p><p>"Can't say that my heart grew any fonder, alright." He deadpanned, wondering why Shinpachi even bothered with this one.</p><p>"You're so considerate, Gin-san," The kunoichi sighed fondly as she crouched in front of a potted plant. "Of course, you want to go on dates first. Silly me. We can tie the knot after the third date. In fact, why don't we go straight with the honeymoon first–"</p><p>It took a few minutes of manhandling her back into her seat after making her apologize to the plant.</p><p>"So, how are things going for you and your little assassination unit? Killed anyone important lately?" Gintoki smiled a bit too wide to be sincere.</p><p>But he was trying, <em>right</em>?</p><p>"Not recently since everyone in the new government has been behaving after that incident that destroyed the terminal," She answered solemnly and he would wholeheartedly believe that it was all that if he didn't remember how she had poisoned her weapons with a concentrated dose of laxative and had her minions occupy every toilet seat in Edo. "Of course, if Gin-san has anyone in mind that he wants to get killed, I can arrange something." Her eyes sparkled expectantly.</p><p>"Bill please!" He called without an ounce of hesitation.</p><p>Yeah, murder wasn't what he had in mind as decent topic over food.</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>Date Five:</p><p>"My rate went up for the last two years," Tsukuyo declared as she took a deep, long drag from her kiseru, staring at him intently. "One million yen per hour. A hundred million if you hold my hand. And you have to cough up around five hundred million yen if you want to go any further than that. The room and supplies will also go out of your budget." She droned on almost mechanically as she listed her price.</p><p>"It's a <em>date</em>!" Gintoki bit out as he tried not to calculate the possible expenses that she was demanding from him. "For that matter, what the hell are you talking about? This isn't that kind of deal!"</p><p>"It isn't?" She seemed genuinely confused by this.</p><p>
  <em>What the hell did Patsuan tell her?!</em>
</p><p>"Yes, we're just here for a date. You know, those innocent lunch outings between two characters like in the shoujo manga." He tried to describe because he had no idea what he was saying. "I mean, not-so-innocent things come right after but not on the first date!" He frantically corrected just in case she billed another incredulous amount to his name.</p><p>"S-So, this is a date?" Tsukuyo repeated, her face slowly growing red.</p><p>"That's what I've been trying to tell you." Gintoki groaned.</p><p>"I-I–-" She stuttered almost incoherently before banging a fist on the table, making him jump. "I-I'm too sober for this. A bottle of sake, please!" She eventually decided as she turned to the nervous waitress frantically who tried to reason that they didn't serve alcohol in a café.</p><p>In the end, she got one of the Hyakka who'd been observing outside to bring it to her.</p><p>Gintoki paid for the damages.</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>At this point, Gintoki was finally resigned. He'd even already arranged for a will when the baldy finally got wind of Kagura's date and killed him for real. In fact, the waitress in the café welcomed him with a sympathetic smile after he'd shared to her what was going on. As usual, after date three, he'd been here frequently enough to have <em>his own table</em> designated for his 'dates' if it could be called that.</p><p>He took his usual seat, ordered his usual parfait, and waited for his now usual routine to start.</p><p>What he did not expect was for a familiar bastard in uniform to take a seat across from him.</p><p>"O-Oogushi-kun?" Gintoki choked out.</p><p>"Who the hell are you calling Oogushi?" Hijikata Toshirou snapped almost like a reflex before settling down. "Besides, why the hell do you sound so surprised to see me?" His eyes squinted in that familiar way when the bastard suspected that he was part of something illegal since they usually went out together for drinks on occasion.</p><p>But this was totally different!</p><p>"Do you even know why you're here?" He asked nervously because this was way out of his league.</p><p>Aside from Katsura who was just always out to mess with his head, all of his dates so far had been with women he knew. He guessed that Shinpachi had assumed, which was still debatable, that Gintoki wouldn't be comfortable enough to go out with some stranger. Regardless, he didn't also expect the glasses to be bold enough to set him up with a <em>man</em>. In fact, how the hell did that idiot manage to convince <em>this</em> one in particular?</p><p>"O-Of course, I do!" Hijikata answered just as nervously, avoiding his gaze.</p><p>
  <em>Don't act like a high school girl on a first date with her crush, damn it!</em>
</p><p>Still, he didn't expect the rush of nostalgia at that moment. For a moment, he was back at that interrogation room back at that police station in the boondocks, sitting across from this same bastard who was asking him to proclaim his innocence. That out of all the people he'd left behind in Edo, this was the first familiar face that he'd encounter.</p><p>"Oi, oi," He drawled as he leaned back on his seat. "Why are you acting so shy all of a sudden? Don't tell me that this is your first time?" Gintoki taunted as he eyed him patronizingly.</p><p>"What are you talking about?" Hijikata demanded in annoyance. "I've done this plenty of times! Don't fucking insult me, natural perm." He answered confidently which caught the silver-haired man totally off guard as he stared at the vice-commander with wide eyes.</p><p><em>No, wait, what are </em>you<em> talking about?!</em> His mouth fell open in his shock. Though, looking at the bastard from an entirely objective angle, Gintoki would be the first to admit that Hijikata Toshirou was attractive. Not the way Katsura was with his effeminate looks but with his straight hair, stunning and piercing blue eyes, and all encompassed by sharp delicate features, the vice-commander was the usual <em>ikemen</em>. At least, until the bastard opened his mouth and started inhaling ungodly amounts of mayonnaise.</p><p>So, it wasn't exactly a stretch to assume that Hijikata had dated quite a few times.</p><p>It was just that. There was the sadist's sister and their history so that man and this man Hijikata was claiming to be didn't compute in his brain–</p><p>"Oh, well, this will be easy since this isn't the first time that I've done this either," He declared arrogantly, not wanting this bastard to get one over him.</p><p>"Trust me, I know." Hijikata snorted.</p><p>
  <em>Wait, wait, wait, did Shinpachi tell him about my failed attempts so far? How can you let Gin-san down like this, Patsuan?!</em>
</p><p>With that, the waitress took their orders. Two strawberry parfaits for Gintoki and one cup of espresso for the bastard and a bottle of mayonnaise. While the waitress was confused at the request at first, Gintoki just signaled for her to go along with it. In fact, she gave them this sparkling look before giggling to her hand and took off with their orders.</p><p>"So, how does it feel to be back in Edo?" Hijikata asked him, pulling out a stick of cigarette and placed it between his lips without lighting it as smoking wasn't allowed in the café.</p><p>"Oh, you know, the usual." He found himself answering casually. "Since repairs are still ongoing around the city, the Yorozuya got a lot of jobs lined up for the past week. I think we've already broken some kind of record in fixing so many roofs in just that time. There's got to be some kind of award for that, ya' know? What about you and your guys? You've been quite busy lately too, am I right?"</p><p>"We've still got a lot of cleaning up to do," The bastard replied. "There are still remnants of the religion scattered. Since Hime-sama and the new Commissioner-General are still busy reforming the national forces, considering that a lot of moles had made themselves at home during Katsura's regime, the rest of the cleanup was left to the Shinsengumi."</p><p>"You've only been reinstated for a few months and you're already swamped with work, huh? It sure is tough being a police." He shook his head with a playful sigh.</p><p>"Why do you sound like you're making fun of us?" Hijikata demanded irritably, eye twitching.</p><p>This man had always been so easy to rile up.</p><p>Before Gintoki could mock him further just for old time's sake, the waitress came back with their orders. It was sufficient distraction enough as he took a spoonful of his parfait while the bastard was busy drowning his coffee in mayonnaise. Even if the waitress had to excuse herself to avoid the disgusting sight, Gintoki was already used to it, had even once gotten to eat a full Hijikata Special.</p><p>"So, should we start what we came here for?" He initiated after that bit of small talk.</p><p>Though, he had to admit that the bastard knew what he was doing because Gintoki had found out that he'd lost his nervousness about this whole thing.</p><p>While he didn't exactly have high expectations, he was still surprised when Hijikata rummaged through his coat pockets and slid a photo towards him. It was a candid shot of a middle-aged man with dark hair and a very distinct mole above his upper lip.</p><p>"Oi, oi. I don't know how you really do these things but I don't think giving me a man's picture straightforwardly like this is the way to go," He found himself frowning at the sudden bout of disappointment on his part, wondering where the feeling came from as he slid back the photo to the vice-commander who pocketed it.</p><p>"That person was a customer of yours last week, right?" Hijikata merely pushed as he took a sip of his mayonnaise-infested coffee. "Can you tell me about that job?"</p><p><em>Oh, I get it,</em> a light bulb lit up in Gintoki's head. <em>This is part of that getting to know stage, right? Of course, this is the bastard we're talking about, he can't do things the normal way. This is his roundabout way of getting Gin-san to talk about himself through his job. He seemed awfully ready too. Okay, that was smooth. Damn it, I'm not going to lose to you!</em></p><p>"Eh, his manor took a major hit during that confrontation with the Seibouists," Gintoki responded as through mouthfuls of dessert. "He just wanted help in clearing up some stuff, I think he's looking for something. Though, since this is the kids and I that we're talking about, we managed to get it done in just a day. Mind you, the place was totally thrashed but this is us that we're talking about, right? It's easy money for us," He totally wasn't boasting.</p><p>Hijikata seemed surprised for some reason. <em>Gin-san can play this game too, asshole!</em></p><p>"I see," He eventually said. "That really seemed like hard work. So, did you guys see what he was looking for?"</p><p>"Just a large chest full of stuffed animals," Gintoki shrugged disinterestedly. "'Says that it belongs to his son. Kinda underwhelming considering that Kagura and I thought it was a treasure chest." He tried to forget about how they had fought over it before Shinpachi had gone ahead and opened it, much to their collective disappointment.</p><p>At that, Hijikata perked up. <em>What–</em></p><p>"You and your lot always get into ridiculous things, huh?" The bastard gave this helpless sort of smile, like he should've known and it was freakishly <em>fond</em>.</p><p>It weirded him out.</p><p>"Considering that you've followed me all the way back to Edo before, you have no room to talk, mayo-breath." Gintoki sniffed imperiously, trying desperately to diffuse the bizarre tension just now.</p><p>"I told you already, I wasn't demoted!" Hijikata defended as his face reddened in obvious embarrassment. "I had my reasons to be there! It was all part of the plan!"</p><p>"If you say so," He felt himself grinning at the steadily fuming vice-commander. "Does that plan include stalking me all the way back to Yoshiwara? Oh, don't look so shock, it's rather hard to ignore when a walking mannequin is following after me." He sniggered to his hand, even though he was trying very hard not to recall what actually led him there in the first place and the subsequent torture he'd been put through.</p><p>"Fuck you, I don't have to explain things to you!" The man cursed at him, glaring menacingly.</p><p>
  <em>Yeah, that look suits you more.</em>
</p><p>Deciding to have some mercy on the poor bastard, Gintoki changed the subject. "You still owe me a bottle of booze, you know?" He raised an eyebrow at the other's confusion. "The one you promised me when you come back to Edo. What with all the stuff that had gone on, we never actually got around to drinking that. In fact, you're already two years too late."</p><p>"That's my line, sugar-freak." Hijikata snapped but it lacked the usual heat behind it. "You disappeared so suddenly two years ago so it ain't my fault." He argued back matter-of-factly.</p><p>"Touché," Gintoki smirked.</p><p>"But I wouldn't mind if we go out for drinks," was what Hijikata eventually offered with that same fond look that made the panic earlier come back with a vengeance.</p><p>"And some tango on the wall?" His brain to mouth filter seemed to have temporarily disappeared.</p><p>"What?" Hijikata seemed taken aback.</p><p>"You know, making salsa with our mouths?"</p><p>"Are you challenging me?"</p><p>"You've got so much to learn yet, Toshi." He leaned back to avoid the punch Hijikata tried to throw in his face.</p><p>"What's that supposed to mean?!"</p><p>After that, they made more small talk about the recent happenings in their lives and bickered some more. They ordered more food and even got into a contest about who could finish a parfait the fastest. Gintoki won by default because the dark-haired man insisted on pouring mayonnaise on the dessert, adding to its quantity. Somewhere in the middle of that, they even had a good laugh or two.</p><p>It was entertaining, at least.</p><p>For the most part, Gintoki found himself evaluating how this date had progressed. He had to admit that Hijikata really knew his stuff because he found himself admitting that he was actually enjoying himself. Nothing had really changed between them but, at the same time, after all they'd been through, something had still shifted. It was like after that final showdown at the terminal, everyone had gotten closer and this asshole to him was no different.</p><p>When Hijikata finally stood up to presumably get back to work, he nodded at Gintoki. "See you around, Yorozuya." He had said while leaving enough money to pay for his share too.</p><p>It took a while before he came to a conclusion.</p><p>Gintoki was actually shocked to realize that he wouldn't mind <em>another</em> date.</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>After that, he spent the whole afternoon in a bout of denial. Because, of course, this was Hijikata-fucking-Toshirou he was talking about. The resident nicotine-addict and mayonnaise-freak extraordinaire. <em>There was just no way</em>. However, after having his tenth glass of parfait to comfort himself, Gintoki had no choice but to eventually acknowledge that his conclusion hadn't changed in the slightest.</p><p>He honestly wouldn't mind going out with the bastard again.</p><p>They'd spent a lot of times in the company of each other in the pasts involved in some stupid shit that he became used to being left alone with him. It was an interaction that had been ingrained within him. They'd also fought together and saved each other countless times. The trust between them was already pretty solid. He knew that the man always had his back and he'd do his best to protect him if he really needed it. He was already past the stage of even denying that he <em>cared</em> about him.</p><p>Sure, he was attractive but did Gintoki actually <em>like</em> him?</p><p>That was the true question.</p><p>And he didn't even fucking know how to answer that since he had no basis to fall back on considering that he'd never liked anyone that way before.</p><p>What he was only certain about was that he wanted to go out with him again.</p><p>That was a start, right?</p><p>So, his first step was to tell Shinpachi about how the date went, end this blind date sham, and rope them into helping him in asking Hijikata out again. For the record, he still didn't know how the glasses managed <em>that </em>but he was far from complaining.</p><p>"This one's a success?" Shinpachi asked in surprise, a bit disbelievingly too for his liking.</p><p>"Oi, what's with that tone?" Gintoki demanded as he leaned back on his desk chair. "Don't tell me that you have no confidence about Gin-san's skills?"</p><p>"This is you we're talking about Gin-chan," Kagura answered disinterestedly, the one who started all this mess.</p><p>"I take offense to that brat! And don't act high and mighty with me when this was all your fault!" He accused with a scowl. "If you've just stayed sweet and single until you're forty, then I wouldn't be going through with this. Do you know what that baldy will do to me if he ever finds out? For that matter, have you warned your date about him? Because I'm pretty sure that he's gonna die once your old man's through with me." He tried not to fidget, hoping that he hadn't accidentally summoned Umibouzu.</p><p>"Well, if he can't defend himself from Papi then he wasn't worth it in the first place, yes?" was Kagura's indifferent reply.</p><p>"That's too heartless of you, Kagura-chan!" Shinpachi protested.</p><p>"Anyway, I want you to cancel the others you've got." He brought them back to the original discussion.</p><p>"Uh, actually, that was the last one." His assistant in this whole disaster admitted. "Especially when weird people started asking about it after Katsura-san decided to offer his help. I guess that we lucked out with this one." The teen laughed nervously.</p><p>Ugh, why couldn't that stupid wig just focus on terrorizing everyone as that demented Oba-Z character he had going on instead of meddling.</p><p><em>This is why you're not invited to anything, Zura</em>.</p><p>"By the way," Gintoki suddenly remembered as he eyed Shinpachi shrewdly, not wanting to let anything get past him. "How did you convince this one to go? Was it blackmail? Bribery?" He demanded because the mystery was silently killing him.</p><p>"What?!" Shinpachi was offended. "I did no such thing! It was aneue who asked for you!"</p><p>"Since when did he and Otae become that close?" He wondered aloud in confusion.</p><p>At that, Shinpachi tilted his head and returned his confusion.</p><p>"<em>Who</em> are you talking about?" He seemed to light up with realization before paling six shades of white as dread settled firmly in his features. "Gin-san, didn't you go out with Hanako-san earlier? She was the one you met, right?" He asked a little desperately.</p><p><em>Oh fucking no</em>.</p><p>"W-What?" Gintoki was now all sorts of uneasy because this stupid glasses couldn't be implying what he thought. "Was that his new name now?" His voice rose an octave.</p><p>"So, Gin-chan went out with a guy?" Kagura interjected curiously. "You've wasted all your time, Shinpachi. That's why the others didn't work at all. I told you that you should've start with Madao, that should've saved you all that trouble." She clicked her tongue in annoyance.</p><p>"Hasegawa-san is <em>still</em> married, Kagura-chan." Shinpachi scolded as he crossed his arms, seemingly now appeased. "Besides, do you really want Gin-san to be going out with someone like him? They'd bring out the worst in each other and the Yorozuya would go bankrupt in an instant. Besides, he's homeless so if that happened, we're gonna have to house him here too. We already take care of Sadaharu, we don't need another one." He nodded solemnly at this.</p><p>
  <em>Oi, you just totally deemed him as a dog just now, didn't you? And just how low do you think Gin-san's standards are?</em>
</p><p>"Yeah, I forgot that he's actually a madao." The Yato scrunched her face in disgust.</p><p>"So, who did you go out with then, Gin-san?" Shinpachi turned to him expectantly.</p><p>At that, Gintoki slammed his head on his desk with a loud bang.</p><p>"<strong><em>No</em></strong><em>!</em>" He wailed as he pulled on his curls as the pieces suddenly started to click. "So, all that time, when he said he'd done it plenty of times, he wasn't talking about <em>dating</em> at all! In fact, that bastard probably didn't think that we were in a date at all!" He couldn't fucking believe it. He'd been so engrossed with the idea that Hijikata had known what was happening that he'd justified every little thing that seemed off. Now, it made a horrible amount of sense. Not to mention, <em>tango on the wall– </em></p><p>"Called it. It was too good to be true, yes?" Kagura remarked with a scoff.</p><p>"<em>Kagura</em>-<em>chan</em>!" Shinpachi hissed in warning before clearing his throat. "It's fine, Gin-san. If you really had a good time, then you can just ask him out for real this time. That shouldn't be a problem, right?" This time, the teen didn't sound skeptical about his chances.</p><p>"N-No, I don't want to!" Gintoki instantly denied as he raised his head, forehead still throbbing. "That's good enough already, right?" He laughed nervously.</p><p>His desire for another date hadn't diminished in the slightest but how could he actually ask Hijikata after this revelation?</p><p>"Gin-san," Shinpachi stared at him sympathetically this time. "If you actually think that that should've been it, you wouldn't have cancelled the others right away. You were obviously expecting to meet this person again. Just tell us who you went out with and we'll help you. That sounds fair, right?"</p><p>No, he didn't want to.</p><p>But then–</p><p>Damn it. Damn that bastard to hell.</p><p>"So, that means I fulfilled my end of the bargain, right?" Gintoki directed towards a surprised Kagura.</p><p>It was a half-assed deal, anyway. Instead of outright denying it or mocking him about it like she'd done from the start, the Yato merely stood up and patted his head, giving him a surprisingly gentle smile.</p><p>"You're really stupid sometimes, Gin-chan." She laughed.</p><p>In the background, the fireworks began once again.</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>It seemed like Hanako actually took a raincheck that day due to an emergency.</p><p>They gave him a week.</p><p>If the feeling died out in that time, then there was no reason for Gintoki to take action. But, ever since then, he found himself always thinking about Hijikata. His sharp blue eyes that seemed to light up when arguing with him, the contours of his cheeks, his lips, the way he smiled, laughed, scowled, frowned and everything that led up to that fateful afternoon. It all stuck to Gintoki's head. That before all this mess, he could've gone on with his life without really bothering about the mayora but right now he was all he could think about.</p><p>It was a fucking disaster.</p><p>So, a week passed and the feeling persisted. It was like he would go crazy if he didn't at least get to know if Hijikata would want to.</p><p>When Gintoki made a stop at a dango shop, watching the flow of people and waiting for a certain bastard to show up, someone else appeared instead.</p><p>In fact, said someone else took the seat beside him on the bench and promptly grabbed one stick of dango from his plate. Gintoki stared blankly at him. Then back to his plate that was obviously lacking one less stick of dango. Then back to the thief once again who looked utterly unrepentant about eating Gintoki's food. Wordlessly, he placed the plate on his other side to put it out of the little asshole's reach.</p><p>"Oi," He called out blankly. "You better pay that back before I slam your face on the ground." He casually warned.</p><p>"After all the things you've tricked me into buying for you, I think one stick of dango is the least you can give me, danna." Okita Sougo replied blandly as he leisurely finished off his food.</p><p>"I don't remember getting anything from you," Gintoki deadpanned. "You should really pay that back, Souichirou-kun."</p><p>The Shinsengumi Captain didn't bat an eyelash. "It's Sougo. Just because it's been two years since then doesn't mean that I forgot,"</p><p>"No, really, I'm gonna bash your face if you don't start coughing out yen." He repeated his warning.</p><p>Okita sighed, sounding openly aggrieved but still didn't make a move to bring out any money.</p><p>"Ne, danna, have you really lost your touch?" The sadist asked as he finally turned to face Gintoki with bored maroon eyes. "I didn't think that you'd make it easy for Hijikata-san, you know. When I told him that you have important information about one of our suspects, I'd thought you'd actually make him beg for it. You didn't even make him work hard for it, did you?" He tilted his head with the empty stick dangling from his lips.</p><p>His eyebrow twitched as he realized one crucial thing that he'd missed.</p><p>"So, it was <em>you</em> all along, huh?" He bit out through his grinning mouth, definitely with more reason to crack this little shit's head open.</p><p>"What?" A wry mocking smile split his lips. "Did you enjoy your <em>date</em>, danna?" Okita questioned innocently.</p><p>
  <em>This fucking sadist knows!</em>
</p><p>"You're really asking for it, aren't you?" He grabbed him by the cravat, ready to make due on his threat.</p><p>Okita blinked as he stared over Gintoki's shoulder.</p><p>"Ah, is that Hijikata-san?" He wondered loudly.</p><p>"As if I would fall for that!" Gintoki yelled as he grabbed the brat by the shoulders and shook him for good measure. "Do you know who you're using that trick on? Don't you know how many people I've run from using that same move? You can't fool Gin-san, do you hear me?!"</p><p>"Over here, Hijikata-san!"</p><p>"Oi, I'm telling you that won't–"</p><p>"Sougo, what the hell are you doing?!" A familiar voice chimed in, making Gintoki freeze while Okita used that opportunity to free himself from his grip.</p><p>Wait, wait! Time out! <em>Stop</em>! This wasn't how Gin-san wanted to ask him out! He was supposed to ask him casually once he saw him. For that matter, this was too sudden! Give him five minutes at least! What was he supposed to say? Hey bastard, I just realized that you're so damn attractive and I enjoyed hanging out with you, can you and Gin-san go out again? This time where <em>you actually</em> <em>know you're in a fucking date </em>and not fishing for information.</p><p>
  <em>Like hell! </em>
</p><p>"Ah, someone sent me a message," Okita suddenly remarked as he flipped his phone open.</p><p>Suddenly unfreezing, he mechanically turned his head and looked behind him, not seeing any signs of familiar V-bangs or flashes of steel blue eyes. He knew that he didn't imagine the bastard's voice and he wasn't that desperate to hallucinate about him. Though, thinking about it, it sounded kind of off–</p><p>"<em>Sougo, what the hell are you doing?!</em>" A familiar voice chimed in again and his eyes snapped to the Shinsengumi Captain's phone.</p><p>Okita's eyes crinkled with glee.</p><p>"Did you like my message tone, danna?" The sadist stared at him smugly.</p><p>"I-I see," Gintoki answered weakly as he grabbed the remaining two sticks of dango from his plate and proceeded to put them all in his mouth, pulling them off of the sticks. He chewed aggressively with cheeks puffed out as he inwardly berated himself for falling for one of the brat's schemes. That little brat had that ace up in his sleeve and obviously prepared it just for this occasion.</p><p>Swallowing heavily, he turned to Okita.</p><p>"So, what exactly do you gain from playing cupid?" He finally asked.</p><p>"Right now? Nothing," The Shinsengumi Captain shrugged. "Peaceful times can be rather boring so I need to make my own entertainment, you know? So, in the far future? Waiting for which of you idiots would lose their head first. And it seemed like you're already halfway there, danna." He shamelessly pointed out, nonchalant as he pleased.</p><p>Grounding his face into the bench didn't seem enough. He really was losing his touch, wasn't he?</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Attempt #1</em>
</p><p>He saw the bastard in his uniform buying his cigarettes at the local vending machine.</p><p>So, Gintoki approached him as casually as he could without making it seem like he really planned it in the first place. He waited for the other to acknowledge him. However, the bastard was staring intently at the vending machine and didn't even seem to register his presence at all. His footsteps slowed down as he observed the stare down. When minutes passed by and nothing still happened, Gintoki gave up the pretense and stood behind the asshole.</p><p>"Oi–"</p><p>"Give me my fucking cigarette, you stupid machine!" Hijikata suddenly exploded angrily as he slammed a palm on the glass display, making Gintoki jump a foot in the air.</p><p>"A-Ano, Hijikata-kun–"</p><p>"<strong><em>What</em></strong><em>?</em>" The vice-commander's head snapped towards him with a frightening glower.</p><p>Okay, maybe this wasn't the right time.</p><p>At the rate where this was heading, Gintoki realized that he would be on the receiving end of a resounding rejection if he asked him outright now. Not to mention, a punch to the face. So, yeah, the bastard's mood needed to be taken into consideration, got it. He raised his hands and slowly backed away. Thankfully, the Shinsengumi Demon Vice-Commander promptly ignored him and went back to his stare down with the machine.</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Attempt #2</em>
</p><p>"Yo, Hijikata-kun! Mob-kun!" He greeted as he entered the snack bar they were eating at the following evening.</p><p>"You really forgot my name, didn't you?" Robozaki, formerly Jimmy, cried out as he glared at him through teary eyes. "And what's up with <em>Mob</em>-kun? Couldn't you come up with something original?" He demanded as he pointed an anpan in his direction almost threateningly.</p><p>Gintoki occupied the empty seat beside Hijikata and voiced out his order to the old woman behind the counter.</p><p>Ah, the fireworks were starting.</p><p>"You totally ignored me just now!" Robozaki despaired in the background.</p><p>"What do you want, Yorozuya?" Hijikata finally sighed as he took a long drag from his cigarette, exhaling heavily in the air as he did so.</p><p>"Just having dinner," Gintoki shrugged as he turned to face the vice-commmander. "Is that a punishable crime now too? Did you already make a new law about it? That's complete abuse of your power just because you're back in town, you know." He found himself pointing out blandly and silently watched as the hand that's holding the cigarette between long fingers clenched noticeably at his words.</p><p>"You're really pissing me off." The dark-haired man gritted out.</p><p>"So," He spoke over him and cleared his throat a bit self-consciously. "You like sleeping, don't you, Hijikata-kun? We should do it together sometime," He casually dropped.</p><p>Behind Hijikata, Robozaki choked on air.</p><p>"Don't lump me in with a lazy ass like you." Hijikata looked pretty offended. <em>Wait</em>. Was that a rejection? It didn't sound like one but that wasn't the response he was looking for either.</p><p>"Are you a murderer? Because your looks can kill," Gintoki tried again with a wink.</p><p>Robozaki was now hacking out his lungs.</p><p>"If I can finish you off with just a look, I would've done it years ago," The man deadpanned at him. "What's up with all these questions?"</p><p>
  <em>Seriously?!</em>
</p><p>"So, what's the deal the other day about Tanaka-kun?" Gintoki changed the subject as he turned away from the man. "The one with the snot here–" He pointed to the area above his upper lip. "–that you had to go asking me about him? Don't you police have your own resources? What about Mob-kun? He's your spy, right? He even went through an upgrade so that should've been his job, right?" He tilted his head and went to stare at the suddenly sheepish cyborg.</p><p>Hijikata's face instantly darkened.</p><p>"The Yorozuya were the last known people he had last contact with," The vice-commander grudgingly answered. "If <em>someone</em> wasn't spending too much time with that robot maid of yours then maybe we wouldn't have to retrace back everything," His eyes glowed demonically.</p><p>"Eh? You're still on about that, Mob-kun?" Gintoki scrunched his face in concern. "I know that you think you've got a higher chance now that you're part-robot but are you really willing to play daddy too? You know that she already has a kid, right? Are you ready to take responsibility for Tamako-chan too?" He gave him his best judgmental stare.</p><p>"A-Ah, it's not like that, danna!" The mobcop denied bashfully. "It's just that I haven't seen Tama-san in so long and I just wanted to know how she's doing after finally waking up."</p><p>That made Gintoki pause.</p><p>"So, about Tanzaki-kun?" He turned to Hijikata.</p><p>"You totally ignored me again!" Robozaki despaired in the background.</p><p>"That guy is a fireworks and explosive technician," Hijikata sighed as he put the stub out on the ashtray. "We have reason to believe that he got involved with the remnants of the religion but had no way of proving yet if he was taken as a hostage or if he joined them on his own free will. Before the war two years ago, his store is known for selling fireworks that takes the form of animal figures. Right now, it's all harmless but we couldn't take the risk that the next time, bombs will be the one going off."</p><p>"So, what did Zura have to say about this?" Gintoki asked offhandedly, ignoring the grimace on the other's face.</p><p>"He's looking into it," The vice-commander clicked his tongue.</p><p>That didn't sound like good news so there was only one thing left to do.</p><p>"Say, is your name winter?" Gintoki leaned a bit closer to the man. "'Cause you'll be <em>coming</em> soon." He whispered just a bit suggestively.</p><p>Though, he didn't get to see or hear Hijikata's response because that was when Robozaki finally had enough of him and blew them both out into the streets with an incoherent scream that it was still in the middle of summer.</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Attempt #3</em>
</p><p>"So, really, what's your grand plan?" Gintoki asked dully, pinky already jammed in his left nostril.</p><p>"Just leave it to me, Gin-chan!" Kagura boasted as they walked along the streets of Kabuki-chou.</p><p>"That's what scares me," He muttered under his breath.</p><p>"Like you're any better!" Shinpachi screamed at him furiously. "Who would use such vulgar pickup lines to ask someone out?! That's bordering sexual harassment! You are a depraved <em>dumbass</em>! Does your brain really have nothing in it besides trash?" He heaved before pausing. "What am I saying, you're the guy who can't stop putting a lot of innuendos in our letters back then! Why couldn't you just be a normal dumbass and directly say it to him?"</p><p>"It's not that simple," Gintoki combed a hand through his curls agitatedly.</p><p>"You're both adults for God's sake. Why couldn't you make it simple?" was Shinpachi's irritable demand before he turned to the Yato when Gintoki didn't offer any explanation. "Actually, what do you have in mind, Kagura-chan? It couldn't be any worse than what he did, right?"</p><p>"Psh," Kagura smirked as a certain vice-commander came to sight. "Just watch!"</p><p>Though, the closer they got to each other, the dread that had made itself home in Gintoki's stomach steadily sunk in. For some reason, he got a bad feeling about this. Kagura was terribly blunt and he didn't know if it was really alright to let her meddle like this.</p><p>When they were about just a few feet from each other, he still didn't expect it.</p><p>"Ah, I tripped!" Kagura's unconvincing shout echoed behind him. "Gin-chan, watch out!" He last heard before her shoulder collided with his back, containing the power of ten rampaging elephants and the next thing he knew, he was shooting like a bullet towards a shocked Hijikata Toshirou.</p><p>"Gin-san!"</p><p>Since this was Kagura with the power to decimate buildings in just her pinky finger, she didn't quite manage the shoujo scene that she had no doubt pictured in her head. What really happened was that he was sent flying and literally smacked onto Hijikata to the middle of the street until they landed a few meters away. The move had caught him so off guard that he hadn't managed to cushion their fall.</p><p>"Y-Yorozuya, get off of me," Hijikata wheezed out from under him.</p><p>"Just kill me now," He groaned out with his face still buried into the bastard's cravat.</p><p>"I'll be glad to but you need to get off first, perm head." The vice-commander told him as he tried to push him off. "Seriously, <em>get off</em>. You're heavy."</p><p>Hijikata smelled like smoke and steel with just a hint of mint and that strange bitter scent that was so like him. It was strangely comforting. He almost didn't want to get up. However, aware of their positions and that they were in public, Gintoki placed his hands on the ground and almost reluctantly pushed himself off of him. He blinked and was met by a close-up view of Hijikata's blue eyes that looked wider and just as intense this close.</p><p>"If you don't get off in the next five seconds, I'm going to punch you." Hijikata warned, brows already creasing into a scowl, something unreadable flashing in his gaze as his face steadily reddened.</p><p><em>There's no reason for that unless</em>–</p><p>"Afraid I'll get this close?" Gintoki asked quietly as he dipped his head just the slightest bit.</p><p>"<strong><em>You</em></strong>–"</p><p>"Ah, G-Gin-san, could you please move?" Another voice cut in. "You two are really heavy." Hasegawa gasped desperately.</p><p>Looking at it now, he could see worn hands trying to claw their way out from underneath them both.</p><p>Hijikata ended up punching him.</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Attempt #4</em>
</p><p>He'd seen Hijikata crouching on the building's rooftop while observing something through his binoculars.</p><p>Though, Gintoki was actually up there to dump some boxes because they'd been requested to clear out the offices in the building to make way for new occupants. This was actually a job that Hasegawa had roped him into so the kids were out doing their own errands. Still, his gaze became fixated on the bastard who was angrily muttering under his breath as he leaned forward onto the railings. Since he was still in uniform, that meant he was in the middle of another stakeout.</p><p>"Oi, oi, isn't this familiar?" He drawled as he crouched down beside the vice-commander. "You're peeping on another citizen again? Haven't learned anything from last time?"</p><p>"It's too early to be dealing with you," Hijikata muttered, ignoring him. "Go find somewhere else to loiter around. I'm working here!" He hissed under his breath heatedly, biting on an unlit cigarette.</p><p>His eye twitched.</p><p>"Didn't I tell you before?" Gintoki placed an arm around the man's shoulder, gripping tightly to get his attention. "I don't like being ignored. Is that any way to treat a friend who went out of his way to accompany your lonely ass up here?" He made a bold move and pulled the vice-commander towards his side.</p><p>For a moment, Hijikata was eerily still.</p><p>The next thing Gintoki knew, the bastard had shoved him to the ground.</p><p>"The hell are you doing? Why are you even <em>here</em>?!" Hijikata demanded, standing over him as he put down his binoculars to reveal his flushed face.</p><p>"This building is currently my domain," Gintoki haughtily declared as he gestured towards the blue jumpsuit for maintenance he was wearing. "So, of course I'm gonna ask what <em>you're</em> doing here. This is trespassing, you know? Maybe you should arrest yourself and bring yourself down to the station. Shame on you, vice-commander-san!" He scolded mockingly, watching as the bastard seemed to be on his way to bursting a blood vessel. Ah, did he go too far?</p><p>In fact, he shouldn't be surprised when the bastard bent down to put a handcuff around his left wrist.</p><p>"I can't believe this is happening again because you insist on being the same dimwit as before. So, you're under arrest for obstructing police investigation." Hijikata grinned at him rather maliciously. "But, unlike you, I learned my lesson so I won't be making the same mistake as last time." The man then cheerfully locked the other end of the handcuff around one of the bars of the railing.</p><p>With that, Hijikata stood up and turned his back on him, bringing out his phone to send a text message.</p><p>"O-Oi, you're not just gonna leave me here, are you?" He asked meekly as he tried to pull himself off with the whole railing giving a dangerous creak. Ugh, if he broke this one, it might come out of his paycheck for the day so he stopped.</p><p>"I'll send Sougo to get you out later," was what the bastard had to say for himself.</p><p>Gintoki wouldn't have it.</p><p>Stretching as far as his body could reach before the man got away, he proceeded to wrap his legs around Hijikata's waist and made the arduous deed of pulling him back towards him. Caught off guard, Hijikata fell back against him.</p><p>"What are you doing?!" The vice-commander snarled as he tried to pull himself away.</p><p>"I'm keeping you here until you remove these handcuffs, bastard!" Gintoki retorted as he pulled on the man's hair, leaning back against the railing. "You think you can just get away and leave me here? This is harassment, you know!" He tightened his legs when the other tried to crawl forward.</p><p>"Let go of me, natural perm!" Hijikata yelled. "I told you, I'm in the middle of something!"</p><p>"Suffer with me then!"</p><p>Seeing as Hijikata was getting nowhere in dislodging him, the man turned around to punch him. Gintoki just tilted his head and let the arm pass him before wrapping his remaining free arm around the other's torso to reduce his struggling. All things considered, this was a pretty compromising position to be in with the bastard. They even got the handcuffs down if Gintoki was into that kind of thing.</p><p>As it was–</p><p>"Gin-san, what's taking you so long?" Hasegawa called on as he stepped through the doorway leading to the rooftop. He paused as soon as he caught sight of them entangled. "Ah, I'll just tell the boss that you're taking a dump. I can handle it from here." The man then took a step back and hastily slammed the door shut.</p><p>"Oi, this isn't what it looks like!" Hijikata's shrill voice echoed.</p><p>"It's exactly what it looks like!" Gintoki shouted over the other man's words, just to tease him.</p><p>"The hell are you saying? You want me to kill you, ah?!"</p><p>"It's true! You unjustly strapped me here like a dog!" There was a pause. "Unless, Hijikata-kun sees it <em>that</em> way?"</p><p>Hijikata fell silent, jaw clenched and blushing furiously. This man was just so easy to rile up.</p><p>Both of them froze when the door opened again and this time, a familiar orange perm greeted them followed by the masked face of Saitou Shimaru. He was also still in uniform and he was holding up his phone, no doubt having received Hijikata's message earlier. In fact, the afro man proceeded to type something out before the vice-commander's phone rang with a ping, signaling a text message notification.</p><p>"Oi, don't just stand there, Shimaru! Help me remove this overgrown perm!" Hijikata finally found his voice to order.</p><p>Gintoki stared at the Third Division Captain without blinking.</p><p>Hijikata's phone pinged again before Shimaru saluted and hastily retreated.</p><p>"<em>Shimaru!</em>" The vice-commander struggled in Gintoki's octopus-like hold. "This is going to be seppuku for you!"</p><p>"So, now that that's out of the way, I saw a nice yakitori diner on the way–"</p><p>Hijikata tried to headbutt him.</p><p>"I told you to–"</p><p>The railing suddenly snapped. They screamed.</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Attempt #5</em>
</p><p>This one was Shinpachi's idea:</p><p>Dear Hijikata-kun,</p><p>I know that it's weird to receive a letter in this day and age when cellphones are a thing. But there are reasons for that. One, I don't have your number. Two, you're avoiding me ever since we almost died from falling off a building. Three, you tried to kill me when I visited you in the hospital because you broke your arm due to Reason Number Two. Which is unfair. But I guess I will apologize even though it was you who started that whole mess. See, I can be the adult here.</p><p>So, please stop being childish and stop avoiding me. Are you really scared because you broke your arm? Do you really want Gin-san to make it up to you? Fine. There's still that yakitori place I told you about.</p><p>Sincerely,<br/>
S.G.</p><p>---</p><p>The reply for this one was swift:</p><p>Yorozuya,</p><p>Do me a favor and jump off a cliff to die. Don't send me a note ever again.</p><p>H.T.</p><p>---</p><p>At least, the bastard stopped avoiding him.</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>He finally made a breakthrough when he and Hijikata met one night and had gone to the same bar stand together.</p><p>Really, ever since things had quietened down, this was one thing that hadn't actually changed even after two years apart. As they sat side by side on the bench, sharing a bottle of sake, Gintoki couldn't help but wonder if this was a date. All of the ones that Shinpachi had arranged for him were lunch dates, more for the purpose of trying to get to know other people. But he'd already known those people to begin with so it didn't exactly make sense to him even when Shinpachi had tried to explain it.</p><p>For that matter, Gintoki had this sinking realization that if it was just really about dating in the first place then he wouldn't be this hung up about it.</p><p>All of the things he'd noticed about Hijikata that day were things that he'd always known even two years ago.</p><p>Nothing had really changed.</p><p>Looking at it now, it was just recent when he'd finally been able to put a label to the whole of it. That it had always been there in the first place and he just hadn't been aware of it. This was something he wasn't comfortable analyzing closely yet.</p><p>"It's a surprise to see you taking a break especially when you've got a big case on your hands," Gintoki spoke.</p><p>"Whose fault do you think it is?!" Hijikata rounded on him with a glower. "Kondo-san removed me for the time being until my arm's fully healed, no thanks to you, asshole!"</p><p>"Hey, I thought that's a thing of the past already?"</p><p>"As if I'd forget something like that!"</p><p>"Why couldn't you just have a positive outlook? You got a little break before the big thing."</p><p>"It's nothing to be thankful for!"</p><p>"Only you would say something like that," He snorted as he poured himself a cup.</p><p>"For two years that I didn't see your ugly mug, why is it that I've been seeing an awful lot of you these days?" Hijikata remarked as he took a languid sip of his sake with his now healed arm.</p><p>"Isn't that a good thing? That's what you all wanted, right?" He smirked as he turned towards the man. "All of you idiots went above and beyond just to bring back the Yorozuya. I heard all about it from Kagura and Shinpachi. So, you got no room to complain, police officer-san." He countered playfully.</p><p>For a moment, Hijikata didn't say anything.</p><p>"You're really an idiot, you know that?" The man suddenly spoke.</p><p>"Hey, that was totally uncalled for!"</p><p>"Was it really?" Hijikata had the nerve to scoff at him.</p><p>"I resent that, you bastard!" Gintoki pursed his lips, miffed.</p><p>"That was something that never really changed, so don't go arguing with me on that." The vice-commander declared with finality but the smile on his face made the angry retort die in Gintoki's throat. "Regardless of the two years that passed and your motivations about leaving, that, more than anything, makes me glad. The Yorozuya that I and the others had come to know will never change." There was that same fond look again.</p><p>Gintoki's eyes widened.</p><p>His voice suddenly failed him as he tried to find the right words to say.</p><p>"Y-You can't just say something like that so bluntly," He croaked out.</p><p>Hijikata just went to knock back another cup of sake.</p><p>"If I'd known that a little honesty would shut you up, maybe I should've done just that years ago." Hijikata huffed as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, promptly taking a long drag.</p><p>Right after that statement, the fireworks began its routine display. The timing was just too perfect.</p><p>Before he could stop himself, a snicker got past his lips. It was just so ridiculous. He tried to suppress it but his lips just started quivering under the strain and before he knew it, he was already clutching his sides from laughing. It wasn't the laughter where he was in stitches from seeing or hearing something hilarious but the one where warmth blossomed from the center of his chest that just demanded to be let out.</p><p><em>Please tell me I have a chance</em>, the thought came without warning.</p><p>Why was it that he was just realizing this now?</p><p>Empowered by this strange feeling, Gintoki grabbed Hijikata's shoulder to make the man face him. "I can add a few bottles of mayonnaise to my grocery list so you're welcome to visit my place anytime," were the words that came out of his mouth.</p><p>"What are you talking about?" Hijikata's eyes widened, taken aback.</p><p>"If you're about to be assassinated by Okita-kun right in front of me, I'll save your ass <em>once</em> because I know you can protect yourself just fine." His grip on the man's shoulder tightened as he watched Hijikata's face steadily becoming red. "If you fall off from another building and break your arm again, I'll visit you and sneak in some mayonnaise for you." He continued quietly as he finally let go, unnerved by the sudden silence.</p><p>"That one was your fault, you dipshit!" The man latched on to the last one but Gintoki knew, just from looking at his rattled expression, that he was getting to him.</p><p>"If it really means that much to you, I'll even eat your dog food with you once in a while." Gintoki leaned his elbow on the counter, supporting his chin with a hand. "Do you get it?"</p><p>Hijikata abruptly stood up.</p><p>"No, I don't." The man replied with finality as he slammed a couple of bills on the counter before moving to leave.</p><p>"That's not–"</p><p>He tried to grab the man's wrist but froze at the glare Hijikata directed at him over his shoulder.</p><p>"Don't say such halfhearted things, idiot."</p><p>With that, Gintoki could only watch as Hijikata walked away.</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>"He says he doesn't get it when he obviously does! Who does that bastard think he is, huh?!" Gintoki complained the morning after, finding himself awake early and sprawled on the sofa because he couldn't sleep well after that encounter.</p><p>Shinpachi sighed across from him.</p><p>"This is why I keep telling you to just be direct with him," The teen scowled at him, lacking sympathy for his plight. "You're obviously not telling him in a way that he completely understands all this time. If what you said is true, then that only means that Hijikata-san is not totally oblivious to your advances. Just what exactly are you afraid of, Gin-san?" Shinpachi finally asked the question that he hadn't wanted to hear.</p><p>He had the whole night to think about it.</p><p>This wasn't a sudden development.</p><p>It was something that had steadily built up over the years. <em>Nothing had really changed</em> and that was exactly why this thing blindsided him. He couldn't exactly just erase something that had always been there, could he? But he remembered and he wouldn't forget. Not even when he saw him again after two years or when he saw that familiar back donning the title of Shinsengumi Vice-Commander once again because that was the kind of man Hijikata was.</p><p>He would still argue with that bastard in the afternoon and he would still drink sake with him on the man's day-off.</p><p>That Gintoki would just look to the side and he'd be more surprised not to see him there.</p><p>He didn't even know if this was what liking or loving someone was supposed to be like but if he imagined a future together with that bastard by his side, he found that he didn't hate it at all. Far from it. And that was the deciding factor, wasn't it?</p><p>"Why would I be afraid?" Gintoki leaned his head on the backrest of the sofa and stared at the ceiling. "Oi, do I look like a woman in some kind of noontime drama?"</p><p>"I think," Shinpachi hesitated. "I think you're afraid that if you ask directly, you will be giving him the chance to outright reject you. That if you do things like this in such a roundabout way, you can either play it off or just try again. <em>But</em> Gin-san, don't you think Hijikata-san deserves better than this? That <em>you</em> deserve better than this? Not some halfhearted attempt like that." The teen didn't even try to mask his worry.</p><p>Was he that obvious?</p><p>Gintoki snorted. "You know, he said the same thing last night." He revealed, eyes still fixated on the ceiling. "He said he doesn't get it and for me not to tell him halfhearted stuff."</p><p>"When he says it like that, it almost sounds like Hijikata-san doesn't want to take you seriously because he thinks <em>you </em>aren't serious." Shinpachi countered a bit heatedly and Gintoki could feel the teen's glare on him.</p><p>When put like that, it made him sound like an asshole.</p><p>If he closed his eyes, he could almost see the last smile Shouyo gave before he'd sacrificed himself to neutralize the rampaging Altana back at the terminal.</p><p>Then he would think about all the people who'd still given their all to support him even when he'd decided that he wanted to save the being that they'd given that same all to defeat two years ago. Hijikata had been one of them and the bastard had given it his all until the end. For the Yorozuya. For Gintoki.</p><p>Raising his head, he turned to look at the eighteen-year-old. Even Shinpachi was aware that this wasn't simply about scoring a date anymore.</p><p>Man, Shinpachi did a lot of growing too, didn't he?</p><p>"So, I just have to tell that bastard until he understands, huh?"</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>When Gintoki got to the Shinsengumi Headquarters the next day, all of the officers were in an uproar.</p><p>It was totally understandable after that explosion that had been reported in the news. In fact, it was the reason why he'd gone here in a rush. Though, what really surprised him was seeing Imai Nobume striding the halls of the barracks. He thought that she'd never leave the new Prime Minister's side considering how the police were still rounding up people. Even Katsura had made himself busy offering help from the shadows.</p><p>"It's finally begun," Nobume merely told him when he fell in step with her.</p><p>"We're finally getting to the main course, huh?" Gintoki whistled as they walked down the halls. "So, what brings the Commissioner-General here? Did something happen to Hime-sama?"</p><p>Nobume's steps halted as she turned to him.</p><p>"Considering what happened this morning, I would assume that you'd be one of the first to know." She remarked candidly. "The fireworks last night was set up within the courtyards of the palace so I came here to get firsthand information since the Shinsengumi is in charge of the investigation. Hime-sama has already been evacuated by Matsudaira-san for her protection for the time being. After that, I plan to eliminate all the people involved in threatening the Prime Minister." She admitted. <em>Don't you mean Edo?</em></p><p>His hand moved automatically and caught the thing she'd thrown at his face.</p><p>"A keychain?" He muttered in confusion at the brown fluffy puppy that dangled in his hand and it looked familiar for some reason.</p><p>"That was the only thing left at the crime scene." She merely said.</p><p>Something else occurred to him.</p><p>"Wait, what do you mean about being one of the first to know?" He got a bad feeling about it especially when Nobume avoided his gaze and resumed her strides.</p><p>"They didn't specify in the news but the explosion was a direct attack to the Shinsengumi Vice-Commander," The blue-haired woman reported matter-of-factly.</p><p>That was all Gintoki needed to hear before he ran forward and shouldered past her. He didn't stop until he reached the mess hall and saw a familiar face. There were a few injured men here and there but nothing looked life-threatening. Nobody stopped him when he stomped towards Kondo who was busy bawling his eyes out next to an unperturbed Okita Sougo. His eyes searched the room for any sign of V-bangs to no avail.</p><p>"Ah, danna, I was wondering when you'll get here." Okita remarked as soon as Gintoki reached them.</p><p>"Y-Yorozuya?" Kondo murmured as he raised his head.</p><p>"What happened?" Gintoki demanded, not even bothering to comment on the sudden glint in those maroon eyes.</p><p>Before Okita could answer him, Kondo started wailing again.</p><p>"I-It's Toshi!" The commander choked out.</p><p>"Kondo-san, I already told you to give it up," Okita sighed in uncharacteristic exasperation.</p><p>"Oi, oi," The silver-haired man's eye twitched. "You can't fool me. No one's mourning here." He felt the need to point out as he gestured to the other officers who donned on grim faces and instead appeared to be gearing for battle.</p><p>"T-Toshi!"</p><p>The Shinsengumi Captain smirked.</p><p>"No one died," The sadist informed. "Unfortunately." He clicked his tongue.</p><p>"So…?" Gintoki gestured with his hand helplessly, hoping the brat would understand the unvoiced question.</p><p>"Toshi!" Kondo wailed again.</p><p>Gintoki grabbed him by the collar and shook him. "Oi, gorilla! Stop crying, damn it! You're making me nervous here! What happened?"</p><p>Kondo sniffed.</p><p>"Toshi's got a <em>secret admirer!</em>" He cried out as more tears streamed out. "I'm so happy for him!" He didn't sound happy though.</p><p>"Kondo-san, there's only so much you can be jealous of and this isn't the time," Okita deadpanned before turning to Gintoki. "During the morning assembly earlier, someone sent a package containing a dog plushie to Hijikata-san. There's no sender to trace it back from. Long story short, it was a bomb. Fortunately, our resident cyborg came in handy this time and identified the threat immediately. We just didn't come out completely unscathed." He tilted his head towards the injured cops being tended to.</p><p>"You call that a secret admirer? More like a secret <em>assassin!</em>" Gintoki exploded before releasing the gorilla with a grimace.</p><p>"Don't worry about Kondo-san, he's been that way ever since he saw the plushie. He's just in denial now." Okita patted the crying man apathetically.</p><p>"So…?" Gintoki gestured with his hand again, hoping the brat would understand the unvoiced question.</p><p>The little shit just raised an eyebrow. He really wanted Gintoki to say it.</p><p>"Where's Hijikata-kun?" Gintoki gritted out.</p><p>Okita grinned.</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>The bastard was at the back of the headquarters standing in front of the remaining troops with Imai Nobume at his side. Well, aside from the missing coat and looking a little singed, Hijikata looked surprisingly unharmed considering that he was supposed to be the target. Though, it wasn't like he was complaining. With that little confirmation, Gintoki approached them with a yawn, not even flinching when Hijikata unsheathed his sword and pointed it at his face.</p><p>"What are <em>you</em> doing here? This is official police business!" Hijikata glowered at him.</p><p>"It's fine," Nobume interjected and eyed Gintoki intently. "I hired the services of the Yorozuya. With both of our forces spread thin to terminate all the bombs, we could use the extra sword to finish this off." Behind Hijikata's back, unseen by everyone but Gintoki, she curled her index finger and thumb with her palm facing up.</p><p>
  <em>Oi, you're the one hiring here, why am I the one who owes you money?!</em>
</p><p>Now that he looked closely, there were men mixed into the troops who wore different coats from the custom Shinsengumi uniform.</p><p>At the vice-commander's suspicious look, Gintoki rubbed the back of his neck.</p><p>"T-That's right! That's the Yorozuya!" He laughed obnoxiously.</p><p>Hijikata grimaced before sheathing his sword and turning to the troops.</p><p>"Two box of donuts from Ichigo-Hara," Nobume whispered under her breath as he stood beside her behind Hijikata.</p><p>"After you pay me first." He glared.</p><p>"Remember to wait for the signal," The vice-commander instructed as all the men present straightened and shouted their affirmation. "You know all of your stations. A copy of Yamazaki will be waiting for you at each site. Proceed with caution. <em>Remember to wait for the signal.</em> Then we're moving out!" He dismissed loudly when there were no questions while all the men scurried into different groups and marched towards where the police cars were all parked.</p><p>Gintoki sidled up to the vice-commander.</p><p>"So, today's the big thing," He remarked as casually as he could, wondering when he could bring up what happened last time they met.</p><p>"It pays off to be patient," Hijikata said as he pulled out a cigarette and promptly lit it up. "And to have a cyborg in your forces. All the fireworks were set up to start and end at a precise time. That's how we got our coordinates. All we needed was the signal. Now, if you were really hired by the Commissioner-General then be sure to make yourself useful." He said as they met Okita who was already waiting for them and seated by the driver's seat.</p><p>"Of course," He waved off and had to hide a grin when Nobume not-so-subtly snuck to the front passenger seat.</p><p>In fact, Hijikata paused just outside the car and stared at the remaining space at the back.</p><p>Gintoki, taking advantage of the opportunity, already made himself at home.</p><p>"Oi, we don't have time to dawdle, Hijikata-san," Okita drawled condescendingly. "Get in the car or we're leaving you behind." He gestured to the space beside Gintoki who smirked at him.</p><p>"Tsk," The man frowned but got in.</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>Apparently, the signal was pretty simple.</p><p>"I got him," Katsura's voice sounded from the radio in Hijikata's hand as they circled one of the abandoned building near the docks. "I'll leave the rest to you," was the last thing he said before the line was cut off.</p><p>Without prompt, Hijikata brought out his phone and sent a message.</p><p>"What was that about?" Gintoki questioned as he watched Okita and Nobume go ahead and sneak in at the warehouse at the back once they heard the confirmation.</p><p>"Your former client's son was taken hostage and he's being coerced to supply the terrorists with bombs." The vice-commander answered as he pocketed his phone. "We figured that if we took care of that first, disposing the bombs and the rest of the criminals will be much easier. Katsura volunteered and infiltrated their ranks so we've been waiting for his signal ever since. He's also the one who's been setting up the fireworks and giving Yamazaki coordinates." He explained as he unsheathed his sword.</p><p>Ah, now that he thought about it, the keychain in his possession was what Katsura had shown off to him back at their 'date'.</p><p>"And the bomb you got?"</p><p>"Bastards got impatient but we at least got to confirm what Tokagi's bombs really looked like."</p><p>"So, you guys were really serious about this new government, huh?" He murmured, recalling vague stories about Katsura's regime as former Prime Minister. "That's why Nobume's here." He concluded as he pulled out his bokutō.</p><p>"There's something in that head of yours, after all." Hijikata snorted as he dashed in towards the building.</p><p>Gintoki ran after him.</p><p>"Hey, about the last time we met–"</p><p>"Now's not the time, moron! We're in the middle of a fight! That you volunteered yourself for, I might add! Don't think I didn't hear Nobume naming her price to get yourself in on this!" Hijikata cut him off as he cut down the first goon that came to sight. "Besides, there's nothing to talk about." He declared as he ducked from a swing behind his head and Gintoki kicked said enemy onto the wall.</p><p>"When you say it like that, I feel like we really need to talk about it <em>now</em>." Gintoki emphasized this statement as he knocked out four more enemies with a wide sweep of his bokutō.</p><p>"No, we don't have anything to talk about." The vice-commander insisted. "In fact, why don't you finish down here and I'll look for the bomb upstairs." With that declaration, the idiot gave a decisive nod before cutting his way through the stairs and leaving Gintoki with the cannon fodder.</p><p>He gritted his teeth as he punched the thug that tried to get past him. Okay, now, he was just pissed off. Gintoki didn't know what kind of face he was making but it made everyone surrounding him flinch.</p><p>"<em>You heard him</em>," His voice could really sound demonic as he propped his bokutō by his shoulder. "If I want to get him to talk to me, I'm gonna have to beat you up first."</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>When he got upstairs, the rest of the terrorists were already unconscious on the floor while Hijikata was in the middle of a call.</p><p>"Sadaharu?!" He asked incredulously as he eyed the giant white dog plush by the corner of the room as he approached the vice-commander.</p><p>"No, you moron, this is our bomb!" Hijikata exclaimed as he held up his phone. "Oi, Sougo, finish things down there. Kondo-san's already on the way with the others. They've managed to secure the bombs and we already got the one from our end. Make sure you round up the leaders for questioning, we can't afford letting anyone getting away again. What– <em>Of course not! </em>Oi, Sougo!" He screamed angrily as the call ended.</p><p>Gintoki eyed the deceptively cute bomb warily.</p><p>"Seriously, that old man's really got weird taste," He remarked, nonplussed. "I guess that's the reason why he got really nervous when he caught us snooping around his treasure chest."</p><p>"You shouldn't be snooping around in the first place," Hijikata scolded as he made an aborted move to light up his cigarette, no doubt cautious with the bomb in vicinity.</p><p>"About the last time we met–"</p><p>"I just told you–"</p><p>"No," Gintoki said firmly as he took a few steps back and held up the device that he'd pilfered from Hijikata's hand while he was busy with the call earlier. "We need to talk. I'm not giving you the chance to sweep this under the rug and pretend that nothing is going on." He made a show of pressing the button, making Hijikata's eyes widen in surprise and outrage as the cigarette dropped from his lips.</p><p>"You're serious," The vice-commander breathed out, incredulous.</p><p>"Will you at least tell me what you mean back then?" Gintoki questioned as he leaned back on the wall, silently letting out a shaky exhale as he carefully shifted his finger away from the button.</p><p>For a long worrying moment, Hijikata was silent.</p><p>Ah, maybe he shouldn't have threatened to blow them up after all–</p><p>"What's there to explain?" Hijikata let out a frustrated sigh as he rubbed a hand down his face, eyeing him blankly. "You've been fine with the way things were <em>for years</em>. I've already come to terms with that. So, why are you suddenly pursuing this? You can't mess with things just because you suddenly feel like it," His voice was carefully neutral and the more his expression became closed off, Gintoki knew that it meant Hijikata was trying to hide something.</p><p>Though, what he said still ticked him off.</p><p>"Years?" Gintoki scoffed. "Because I suddenly feel like it? Don't talk as if you know more about how I feel!"</p><p>"But that's the point!" Hijikata argued, sounding aggravated. "I've always chased after a person that never once looked back! After two years, I thought that it was going to change but it was just the same thing all over again! What do you want me to think?"</p><p>"If it's been that long then why haven't you done anything, huh? Don't put this all on me!" Gintoki growled angrily, all the while trying to make sense of what he was hearing.</p><p>If he heard him correctly, Hijikata harbored feelings for him. That was all he could focus on.</p><p>The bastard didn't immediately respond but he did avoid staring at Gintoki, most likely realizing what he'd just admitted to. Though, part of him was still furious. Not at Hijikata but at himself because he knew that if he weren't such an idiot from the start, they wouldn't be in this kind of mess in the first place. The man was right that nothing had really changed. That was really the crux of it, wasn't it?</p><p>"You have a lot of people who care about you," Hijikata still wouldn't look at him. "Whether I'm in the picture or not, that will stay the same. Besides, I told you, didn't I? The Yorozuya I know will never change. That's enough for me." His expression softened again into that fond look.</p><p>It made Gintoki's insides twist.</p><p>He sighed. "You can be pretty dense too, huh? That's gonna be part of your resume, you know?"</p><p>Blue eyes snapped to glare at him.</p><p>"I don't need a resume when I'm already employed, stupid! I'm not like you!"</p><p>"Hey, don't you dare go there!" Gintoki argued back, stomping towards him as he remembered Shinpachi's words. <em>I need to tell him in a way he completely understands.</em> "That's it, Hijikata-kun! You're <em>in</em> the picture and I know you! That will also stay the same and I can never ignore you. It's just now that I'm realizing what these feelings are that came along with knowing you. Right now, I'm just an idiot who's in love. That isn't going to change too." He declared, now standing in front of the man directly.</p><p>Hijikata closed his eyes.</p><p>"What do you want me to say?" He whispered.</p><p>"That's simple," Gintoki murmured. "If you still have room left for me somewhere inside you, I guess that would be a start. As long as you can confirm one thing for me, that's more than okay too." He lifted a hand and placed it on the man's cheek.</p><p>Hijikata leaned his forehead against Gintoki's, as if bracing himself.</p><p>"If you're going to tell me that you're just messing with me, do it now." The bastard smiled at him. "There are words you can never take back once you own up to them."</p><p>"Not gonna happen, sorry to disappoint." Gintoki promised. "So…?"</p><p>The man hummed.</p><p>"Add mayonnaise to your grocery list like you said and kill Sougo for me," Hijikata huffed out a laugh. "Then I'll think about it." He added for good measure.</p><p>Gintoki grinned before leaning forward to finally close the distance between them. To his surprise, Hijikata eagerly pressed his lips back against his before he tilted his head and opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. In that moment, all he could focus on was the warmth of Hijikata's lips and the warm feeling spreading from his chest. In fact, he'd been so engrossed that when he wrapped his arm around the dark-haired man's shoulder to pull him in, he totally forgot about the detonator in his hand until he heard an ominous click.</p><p>
  <em>Beep. Beep.</em>
</p><p>Both of their heads snapped to the direction of the large plush dog whose eyes were now glowing a demonic red.</p><p>"I'm taking all of it back," Hijikata stated before their world went white.</p><p>
  <strong>oOo</strong>
</p><p>Shinpachi sighed as he sat beside Kagura by the bench outside the hospital room, already hearing the familiar bickering inside that he'd grown so used to over the years.</p><p>Ah, some things really didn't change.</p><p>"So, they finally got their acts together, huh?" Okita voiced out as he approached from the other end of the hall.</p><p>"But did we really have to fake Kagura-chan's date like that?" He asked exasperatedly. "Gin-san was really scared of Umibouzu-san, you know? And what about setting him up with all the others?"</p><p>"If danna can't tell the difference between how he felt about other people and Hijikata-san, do you think he'd get it?" The Shinsengumi Captain raised an eyebrow at them almost condescendingly which he tried not to let it get to him since it was true. "We've been watching this stupid standoff for <em>years</em>. To think that it was Hijikata-san who got a clue first, I made the mistake of overestimating danna's intelligence." He deadpanned as he collapsed on the open space beside Shinpachi.</p><p>"Oi, don't you dare insult Gin-chan!" Kagura interjected with a pout.</p><p>"You wouldn't be in on this if that wasn't true, China." Okita merely retorted.</p><p>Now that he thought about it–</p><p>"So, that was you then, Okita-san?" At the young man's questioning look, Shinpachi elaborated. "That day, Hanako-san told us that a man in Shinsengumi uniform told her that the date was canceled. If I'd known you'd make a move like that, then I would've just gone along with what Gin-san said, you know?" No wonder Gintoki was so confused and panicking and knowing that guy, he'd simply gone and overthought things.</p><p>"What are you talking about?" Okita frowned in confusion. "I don't know anything about canceled dates. I just told Hijikata-san that danna knows that Tokagi guy."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I imagine <i><b>Expect</b> by PAGE</i> (Gintama Ending 22) being played as this fic ends. For good vibes. It was the song I was actually listening to when writing this.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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